You're a God...and I Am Not

It's been a couple of weeks since those 20 beautiful little children and their seven teachers were killed in Connecticut, but I still haven't been able to reconcile myself with what happened. Like everyone else, I'm just trying to understand something that really there is no way to possibly understand. The killer is dead; we'll never know what strange thoughts went through his mind before he decided that kindergarteners deserved to die, or if there was anything we could have done to prevent it. 

When something like this happens, everyone tries to cling to something meaningful because that's just what we do. Humans crave the comfort of arms around them, someone to tell them that everything's going to be okay. And I think sometimes these kinds of experiences really make people lean more heavily on their faith.

For me, I've been having something of a "crisis of faith" for some time now. Awhile back I came to the conclusion that I could never buy into the idea of being a sinful human that only Jesus could redeem, because I just don't believe that I am naturally evil. It always rang false to me, and not because I think I'm anything great either. I do believe that I'm capable of greatness, and for my own sanity I need to believe that no one can give it or take it away from me. Call that what you will. 

But I think I've definitely come to one conclusion recently. There's no way there is a God. I don't care what you believe or what your religion says. There is absolutely no loving God that would let something like that happen. Either there is no God or the one we have sucks. There's really nothing else to say so I'll just leave you with this.